Mom. Suburban Mom.

Queue the music. (Mission Impossible or general 007 theme)

The transformation is complete. I have infiltrated their ranks. Topics of discussion this week alone have included: what is the best way to get food stains, especially pizza sauce, out of clothes; how can I prepare cauliflower so a toddler will eat it (turns out it's just not possible), and the effective use of the time out.

I race home at lunch to do laundry or vacuum or clean the bathroom or do any of the other things that are difficult to do with a toddler awake and under foot. Before beginning this entry I wormed through a few other blogs while I folded clothes, that were washed at lunch today. A few new items were in the regular mix, items I purchased at a garage sale (talk about suburban mom when I was a city mom I went to resale shops for second hand). I am amazed at the quality of E's new clothes. There is no wear, no tear, not a stain in sight. Did the boy even wear them? (Actually one pair of sweats still had the price tag on them.) What does this family use for laundry detergent and where can I get it?

When I was a city mom E's clothes were so much cleaner. I used Dreft on all his clothes and would soak badly stained clothes in a bucket of OxyClean and water. Obviously the properties of baby poop are different than those of pizza sauce. Perhaps All allergen free isn't a good product -- but it works on my clothes. Maybe the water is different (very possibe, the water out here is awful stuff).

My concerns are different in the 'burbs than they were in the city when E was younger. My main worries then were where am I going to park the car and which jar food will I give him tonight. Now that he eats the same food I do I have to think a lot more about meals. I need to worry about nutrition (hear the playground taunt on that last word?), taste and ease of preparation. The latter is really important because E wants to help cook. His cooking may only be putting the vegetables I just cut into the steamer basket (well away from the heat) or taking garabage to the trash can, but he wants to be in the action, to the point of sometimes not wanting to eat when it's time because he'd rather "cook it".

Tonight was one of those nights he wouldn't stay in his seat. He is a "big boy" now and sits on an Ikea step stool at meals. Tonights he was going to have none of that. I had to tell him repeatedly that he didn't need to "cook" anything else. After finishing his MEELK he asked for juice. I obliged, telling him "2-hands to drink". He stood at the end of the counter and practically poured the juice out because even though he was holding the glass with 2 hands he wasn't paying attention to whether the cup was upright or not. I cleaned up the mess and told him to sit on the rug in front of the door to finish his juice. He sat down and did it again.

TIME OUT! He was to sit on the stool in the middle of the kitchen and be quiet, no talking, no touching anything, no playing with anything. And for the next week he will have to sit in the high chair for meals. The no talking thing was hardest on him and he began to jabber within moments. I was still upset and told him that if he kept talking when I told him not to he would be in the high chair for 2 weeks. He will be in the high chair for 2 weeks.

To be taken off of a time out requires an act of contrition including the apology, usually accompanied by a hug or kiss, and a statement of what will change. Tonight it was "I will pay attention." I got the apology with a hug and a kiss but E refused to say "I will pay attention." I couldn't have a war of wills into the wee hours, he needed to go to bed so I picked him up like a sack of potatoes and carried him upstairs to get ready for bed. While he was sitting on the potty -- one of the night time rituals -- he reluctantly said it.

He may be 2 months from his birthday, but he is definitely in the terrible 2s and my patience is wearing thin. Lord help us!